pyongyang

It's been called a contest but seems more like an expo ... either way, it's typical of the ambiguity of communication coming from North Korea. "Crude liquor and sweet drink" – more than 100 types – were on display. These beverages were made with "grain, non-grain and by-products."

Yummy! I can't wait 'til the clock strikes noon and I can have a double-shot of by-products without regret.

The purpose of this event of indeterminate type is to use science to improve the traditional methods for creating these "traditional" drinks, "thus making the dining table of the people more bounteous" (no, you can't make this stuff up). Several years of famine and general consumer goods shortages make this a laudable goal, but one wonders if a trade show will be enough to solve the country's state-sponsored problems.

Though spirits would seem like luxuries in the "workers' paradise," peasants have been able to enjoy the "sour and refreshing crude liquor" when taking breaks from toiling in the field. Depending on the region, the crude liquor is called: thakju, thakbaegi, nongju or nongthak. In Yodok, it's called "nonexistent."

Interested in serving thakju at your next dinner party or cocktail reception? Just ferment boiled rice after "maturing" it with germ barley. Pour, threaten to drown the United States in a sea of fire and enjoy!

Fashion spending is increasing in some parts of the world ... and where you'd least expect it. According to the Korea Central News Agency, North Korean women have been buying dresses like crazy. I guess when your currency isn't defined by market movements, you can engineer any outcome you like (except in times of famine).

Not exactly known for its propensity for hype, unless it involves ballistic missiles or American defectors, the KCNA reports, "Korean dress shops in Pyongyang are bustling with customers in the current spring season."

In what sounds like a .. um, planned ... statement, a worker in the Ryonghung Korean Dress Shop observes, "All of them [i.e., customers] gasp their admiration for the graceful and fascinating costumes on show in the sample room."

This news report is a traditional tool in the North Korean media, which seeks to portray an image of confidence and self-sufficiency (called "juche") even in the face of reality. The only thing missing was "on the spot guidance" from Kim Jong-Il.

So, broader economic problems aside, North Korea is seeing a "revolutionary upsurge ... which give[s] off national lyricism and aroma in spring."

I read it in the KCNA, so it must be true.