Christian Louboutin Capra Bikini Leather Wristlet, Handbag of the Day

The Christian Louboutin Capra Bikini Leather Wristlet makes me uncomfortable.

Should I mention that this handbag of the day is 9"W X 4½"H X 2"D, also comes in black, and is lined with Louboutin's signature blood-red (redder than this) lining? Should I praise the sparkle of the front metal logo and the cute 4½" wristlet chain? Should I make a comment about the pretty red shade of this Italian leather, or find some way to extoll the virtues of the credit card slot?

Should I giggle quietly at the term "bikini inspired" and leave it at that?

Or, should I mention that this bag looks exactly, exactly like an impressive cameltoe? Am I not supposed to talk about the outrageous crotchliness of this purse? It's like a 400 pound gorilla in the room.

I just don't know.

The Christian Louboutin Capra Bikini Leather Wristlet is available from Saks Fifth Avenue for $795.00.