CA$H.CAMO Bentley GT from Dartz

by Jared Paul Stern (RSS feed)
Apr 8th 2010 at 3:02PM

Dartz, the whacked-out Russian luxury SUV brand known for the grenade-proof Kombat and whale penis leather-upholstered Monaco Red Diamond monstrosity, have come out with another assault on aesthetics: the CA$H.CAMO Bentley GT. Designed in collaboration with Russian supercar tuner TopCar, the Bentley gets some body mods and upgrades along with a truly hideous wrap. The Kevlar-based vinyl covering combines a camouflage pattern with the graphics of a 500 euro banknote with its purple color scheme and architectural motif, the currency's highest denomination. The 500 euro note is known to be a favorite with the Russian mafia. The wrap is also designed to have a texture that makes it feel like an actual banknote. The barfy Bentley will be unveiled at the upcoming Top Marques Monaco show.

Tags: Bentley, camouflage, currency, custom cars, Dartz, Dartz Kombat, Russia, Top Marques Monaco

Filed under: Luxury Cars & Autos

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Sheldon Padawer Apr 9th 2010 8:31AM

The Whale Penis Upholstery option sounds nice. Rabbit Goodman, now deceased, brought an old Helman's Mayonaise jar full of Bris (circumcision) clippings to my Uncle Ush, a taxidermist in Pope, Arkansas. Uncle Ush fashined a magnificent large billfold with amazing fine stitching, multiple pockets for credit cards and such, as well as the most beautiful scroll work you had ever seen.

Rabbi Goodman died in a skiing accident before the project was completed (he misjudged a wake, the tow rope snapped, and he hit a marker buoy).

I learned this story as I visited Ush October 1997 before the Pope Children's Charity Golf Tournament. I was buying some shoelaces in his store when he mentioned my cheap WalMart billfold was "decrepit". He offered me the penis foreskin billfold as a gift and I reluctantly accepted.

I have used the billfold for several years. It is lovely. But I discovered it's secret a few weeks ago after I left it on our breakfast nook table and it was stained by a spilled Orange Crush.

I got some leather soap and began rubbing the stain only to discover the billfold became more taut as I rubbed. After disposing of the paper towels, I began rubbing it with Lexol to reintroduce the leather oils. As I rubbed the bilfold began to firm up and grow - almost miraculously - until it was the size of a small briefcase.

While I appreciate the story about this Bentley, the story has a sad ending I read about in Pravda. The owner of the Bentley aand his son yogi both died in the car as they slept after a long drive between Moscow and Briekenchoy. Seems the father had upset the Russian Mafia. Supposedly a hit man had followed the two down the snowy highway, watched as the fell asleep on the side of the road, and then he rolled down his windows and inserted a CD titled "Whale Songs" in his own car's player. The men were dead within seconds.

I think use of Penis leather in any artifact comes with responsibility. My family has decided to refrain from owning any penis leather products. That is an absolute fact.

Yon Apr 10th 2010 3:46AM

To me, it looks like a painted over Detroit Iron. But then, what do I know? My last Det-Iron was a 1970's ponycar with the hugest V8 available on the market. The thing could not go straight, would not turn, could not stop, could not climb a wet hill nor move in snow.