Pamela Anderson Protests Whale Penis Leather SUV
Last month we wrote about the Russian-made $1.5 million Monaco Red Diamond Edition luxury armored SUV, featuring gold and diamond accents and an interior upholstered in whale penis leather. The unnerving upholstery is apparently in tribute to Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis, who had whale penis leather aboard his yacht the Christina. Now pneumatic actress and animal rights activist Pamela Anderson, Greenpeace and the World Wildlife Federation have complained to Dartz, the company responsible, causing them to ditch plans for any whale genitalia to be used in making the insane vehicle. We can't imagine anyone but the Prince of Brothels would ever buy one anyway. Dartz's Leonard F. Yankelovich has now issued an unintentionally hilarious apology of sorts, in Russian-inflected English:
"We have no ideas to kill the whale or something like that," he insists. "All we want - to make just luxury car. Real luxury car which will be world number one car. We just looking for most expensive products for this car - and that's why we choosed whale penis leather when we checked it is most of most. After wave of protest we realised our mistake and make a decision not to use natural leather at all. We will focus on world most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality using artificial materials which also was never used for cars. We want to tell our hello to all whales: 'Our Sea Brothers! We all know that earth are stand on three whales - we will keep You live! We don't want Earth fall down to Ocean!'"